Wednesday 3 February 2016

It has been a long time since my last post, I have been having some bad ups and downs and health issues recently.

The main one is probably the switch in meds for my emetophobia and OCD. I'm on my third month with Sertraline and my third increase in dose- I'm now on 150mg a day and we are currently waiting to see if this is the golden dose. I'm hoping it is as 200mg a day is the maximum dose. My anxiety in the last few months has been awful- really, really high most of the time and then when something bad happens it seems to get impossibly higher still. My doctor is hopeful that this will be the dose and I'll start to feel some effect in a week or two. If nothing by the end of the box then we'll increase once more and hope that works or I'll have to start this all over again with another type of anti-depressant.

I've also been struggling with my M.E this last month or so, and struggling with my activities. I still can't get it into my head that everything is now classed as an activity and not just things like going out or cooking a big meal. Things like going to the bathroom, washing my hair and getting dressed are all activities too- as are nice things like knitting or watching TV. This seems to be an almost impossible task to comprehend and I hope that it suddenly sinks in one day. But I am trying to do more around the house- I got too scared to do anything extra really in case it made her more unwell. But in the last week or so I've been trying to do a bit around the house or to do something for someone else- even as its as small as making my mum a cup of tea. Mum's noticed I've seemed a bit brighter since doing that.

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This is how far I got writing this post back in November. It's now February. Sertraline is evil, that is a now a known fact. I got up to 200mg of it a day and all it did or me is make the chronic fatigue so bad that a lot of days all I managed to do is make some breakfast and go to the toilet. I went way too long between being able to wash myself and my hair and doing things like cooking dinner. I didn't leave the house for a month Dec-Jan. I went to my dads for a few hours on Boxing day and then didn't leave the house at all again until my first appointment with the ME clinic on the 26th Jan. I'm now off Sertraline completely and have started a new SNRI Cymbalta instead. This one is supposed to be really good for treatment resistant OCD as well as reducing pain an fatigue in people with ME/CFS and fibro so it's worth a try anyway.

I'll talk more about my first appointment with the ME/CFS clinic at a later date. And I had YET ANOTHER assessment at Hellesdon last week to try and get some treatment for my OCD and emet- I came away from that assessment very unsure how it all went. It was a lot of form filling-in and tick boxes and I'm not feeling very hopeful this time around.

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